am not a girl in hurry
am aware of my good looks. But I don't know how I acquired a sex
symbol tag. I'm a normal girl who goes to church every Sunday. If
the world chooses to hype my sexy image, what I can do?
three months after Mohabbatein, nothing happened. So I went off on a
nice long holiday
. Had loads of fun and I'm back.
silly people have been saying that I walked out of Supari because I
was insecure about working with Nandita Das. I'm not an insecure
type at all. I have worked with Aishwarya Rai and so many others in
Mohabbatien. I was absolutely confident that I'd get noticed even in
my two-and-a-half scenes.
I am not a girl in hurry.
Neither am I the sort who will walk up to a filmmaker with
photograph and say, 'Please cast me.' Film Producers haven't made a
pass at me, and they won't either because I don't go around
fluttering my eyelashes at them. I'm a self-made girl who goes to
the studios alone. I don't see any reason to drag my mother along. I
can look after myself.
I owe no explanation to anyone
except my parents. Frankly, I've no pretensions. I've had a
relationship in the past
so I won't make silly statements like
I'm a virgin or that I don't know what it's like to be in a
has his or her share of grief
lone person walking through the boardwalk of life. The turbulent
breakers that smash across the wall and even hit you at times seem
to signify the formidable tribulations that you face in your
lonesome walk. And then you meet somebody, the whole picture
changes. The high seas seem to serenade your togetherness. That is
the power of love. Wise men say, only fools rush in but can't help
falling in love with you.
Sushmita Sen is one such woman.
She is the eternal lover. Compassion pours from every pore of Ms.
Sen. She touches everyone who she comes in contact with, men
especially. And yet, there she represents Ally McBeal culture,
loneliness at the end of the day. Everyone has his or her share of
grief. Beginning with director Vikram Bhatt, with whom she had a
long relationship but not lasting. Sush and Vikram were gracefully
open about their relationship. Equally gracefully were they when
parting ways. Unlike most actresses, who go mudslinging when grapes
turn sour, Sush instead accepted the failure of the relationship as
an enriching experience.
She says " I don't believe
in animosity between two people. Vikaram and me had some differences
as two individuals so there was some friction. But we are still fond
of each other as friends and that'll never change."
Ganguly and Nagma. What is there to hide?
a few months back, the entire media went to town discussion his
secret rendezvous with Nagma at a Shiva temple in Sri Kalahasti,
Andhra Pradesh. There were rumors that the two got engaged over
there. When the media questioned Gangulay about it, he maintained, "Ask
me anything but this." Sourav Ganguly isn't ashamed of his
relationship with Nagma. And it's only a matter of time before he
decides to publicly acknowledge his love for her.
the Sri Kalahasti temple incident, Gaunguly's family has been trying
their best to make amends between Sourav and Dona. But reports
indicate that the irreconcilable differences between the two are too
messy to be resolved. Dona is busy with her own life, doing her own
thing with the dance institute that she has founded. But her absence
at a time of crisis certainly raises a lot of eyebrows.
like to be liked
lot of people tell me that I have a warm smile. I get my smiles from
my parents. I think a smile can lift everybody's day. That's why I
always make a point to smile at everyone, however tired I might be.
I like to be liked. If a little bit of thoughtfulness on your part
can make a person like you, why not?
I hate any kind of
tension around me. So, I'm always trying to make things light. In
all these years, I haven't had any problem with anyone. But fans
expect you to be nice to them all the times. There are times when
you can't oblige them. We have our moods too. A normal person can
snap at his friends or colleague or anyone around, if he's in a bad
mood. But if a star does that, a big issue is made of it.
think it's too early to pass a judgment on me as an actress. Other
actresses too have their time in establishing their credentials. I
will need time to find what my niche is. I'll make my share of
mistakes and learn from them. That's how one grows.
MARRIAGE OF AJAY & KAJOL SURVIVE?
says "I just laugh over such baseless rumors. They will die
their own death. I don't even want to react to them. As long as the
people concerned and I know that it's not true, it doesn't really
matter." But, apparently, this rumor has gone so far to add
that this liaison has caused a rift between him and his wife, to
such an extent that Kajol has packed her bags and gone back to her
mother's house. And Tanuja is supporting daughter Kajol in filing
for a divorce and returning to acting. He becomes serious, "There's
no rift whatsoever with my wife. We're a very happy couple so I
don't even want to react to such bullshit. People can say whatever
they want." Thereby ending all speculations about his marriage
being in trouble.
Talking about Kajol, being a fantastic
actress, she has been a performer par excellence. To the extent of
standing out in bad film too. Unfortunately, she's not doing any
other film at present except Karan Johar's 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhie
Ghum. Ajay clarifies, "Nothing's decided as yet." And
about Kajol not doing any other film, Ajay, on his wife's behalf,
adds, "It's entirely her choice. If she likes to do a
particular film, she'll go ahead and to it. Kajol has to get excited
about the subject, and I don't think she's got charged up about any
films that might have been offered to her. It's totally her decision
to do the kind of film that she wants to do."
appears to be in total control. As an adept pilot who steers his
plane through storms to safety, Ajay guides his life through
squalls, both personal and professional. There's not the slightest
doubt about Ajay hitting a hat-trick at the bull's eye.
have told me why are we the way we are
I used to almost shy away from the fact that I was supposed to be an
actress. I did street theatre much before I got into acting. There,
what one wants to say, one's idealism, beliefs and aspirations to
change the society is more important than how one is performing.
But, in a way, that was my first formal exposure to acting. Then I
did a little bit of theatre, a couple of short run serials.
was my first major film, but it wasn't my first film. Before 'Fire'
I did one film 'Ek Thi Gunja' by a new director. It was for the
international film festival. The film was released on TV, but like
many small art films it died a silent death.
'Fire' was a
love story between two women. This is an issue that we have been
shoving under the carpet for a long time. But, someone has had the
courage to bring it up, which I think is extremely commendable.
you see exposure on the screen, you could say that it is done with
an intention of being artistic. But the same can also mean obscenity
for some. How do you know if it is really needed or is it just for
titillation? I find many of the song and dance numbers in regular
films where you see pelvic thrusts, camera zooming into cleavages,
quite disgusting and quite regressive. That is sensationalism. Not
'Fire'. We as a people are not used to seeing reality. When reality
is stark, we become far more uncomfortable than something little
more classic. If there is a lot of skin showing in that, people find
it okay. It's just a matter of perspective and what one is used to
And 'Water' was history repeated. People felt that
it was just sensationalism; though there was nothing sensational in
the script. It just talks about the plights of widows, which still
exists in Benaras. Is it sensational to talk about that? And is it
bringing down one's own country? It's time we are honest and
critical about things that are happening in our country and raise a
voice about it. What is cinema? Isn't it supposed to be a slice of
life? If various things happening around you cannot move you, then
you are insensitive. Films are a very expensive and effective
medium. You cannot just sit at home and watch it. There has to be
some consciousness in the film.
As I said, I entered films
by default. My reason for entering films was because I enjoyed my
work. I enjoyed acting, the idea of going different places, playing
different roles, and being a part of an interesting story. My reason
for entering films was neither to please the masses, nor the
classes. Neither to get name nor fame. People find it strange on my
part to select so few films despite getting so many offers. They ask
me 'Do you want to earn money or not?' But then, I feel how much
does one need to survive comfortably? If your keep looking up all
the time, and keep wanting more, you'll never be satisfied and
happy. If you look down, you'll find yourself reasonably privileged.
me, life begins and ends with love
(Diya Mizza, a girl from
Hyderabad, who won the coveted Miss India title and went on to bag
the Miss-Asia-Pacific crown.)
Success has to be dealt
with only when you realize you are successful and I don't consider
myself successful yet. Agreed that even a small feat that you
achieve in your life is success, in a way. But it's the standards
that you set for yourself in life that determine achievement.
work towards humanitarian causes irrespective of whether I make
proclamations about them or not. Let me speak for myself. Every
human being would like to do something good to someone else. The
best way to feel good about oneself is to do good to others. I feel
maximum satisfaction within myself when I do good to others. I have
never claimed to be Mother Teresa, nor have I professed a desire
towards doing extraordinary work.
Charity begins at home,
but it doesn't stop you from doing housework, does it? In fact, if
you are a film star, people relate to you better and you can help so
many more people and do so much more because of your clout. How
could that affect my charitable work? It is so amazing that the film
industry is participating in so many humanitarian acts and aiding
social work. I'm very proud to be a part of it and to see everyone
so active in helping each other.
I took up movies because
the medium fascinated me and I have always loved acting. I love the
camera. I thought to myself that if I say 'No' now, and regret it
five years down the line, this break would never come back to me.
in oneself is one aspect that can make anybody scale new heights.
Understanding your weaknesses is extremely important. One should
know how to convert them into positives. I know my strengths and I
know where I can go wrong. I'll never fool myself. I can never look
into the mirror and delude myself that 'I'm the best,' when I'm
probably not. But as long as I give my best, I'm satisfied. The
degree of confidence with which you walk into a room can make heads
turn. On other hand, you could be the most beautiful person and yet
go unnoticed. My only biggest assert is my confidence.
truly single. And it is difficult. There are a lot of times when you
need someone, but don't have anyone. And there are moments when you
don't want attention and keep getting it. I haven't met one. But
it's easy to be the one for me. There's no specific formula I've
cooked up for my kind a guy. Nobody has made love blossom in my
heart yet. Love is life. For me, life begins and ends with love.
had lots of crushes
I don't keep any rigid rules that
the man of my life should be from the industry. If it happens, it
happens. If he's a film star, maybe he'll be even less understanding
because he'll have seen a lot of romances happening on the sets. Who
knows? So, there are no rules for me. In my life everything has
happened suddenly and I'm sucked into situations. So, maybe when it
happens to me, I'll be pulled into the whirlpool of love.
course, I have fallen in love a number of times, and I'm not denying
them. I've had lots of crushes and I've had boyfriends also. But
they have never really been serious or long-term relationships that
I'd want to be committed to or get married. It's just been school
girl's crushes, flings. But, when you start getting deeply involved,
you start seeing the bad side of the person. I don't know why this
has to happen, but it does.
Girls grow faster anyway, so
you should have a really mature guy by your side. He could be elder
to you. We fall in love with the image of a person rather than the
real person. There are too many complexities, too many frailties
that go into a relationship. It's so tough to comprehend a human
mind and keep a relationship.
See, acting is like any
another profession. So, it's a wrong notion that actresses are not
capable of giving. In fact, actresses can well display their love
and in a relationship sometimes you need to express your feelings.
The problem is only the time constraints that are weighing on you.
You need to be with a person, do things together, and grow together.
But it's just not possible with our hectic schedules.
path has it's own stumbling blocks
I never planned to
get into films. I was very happy being a model, because I was doing
the best of campaigns. And, honestly, unlike models; so that it
would be a stepping-stone to get into films. I was doing good ads,
making money to take care of myself and that's all that mattered.
But, one day, I got a call from Yashji's office. Since I am not a
film-film kind of person, I couldn't really figure out what it was.
So, I almost refused till the voice at the other end explained
everything to me. After that, things just fell into place and here I
One of the reasons that I was very apprehensive about
getting into films was that I was doing pretty well as a model. And
I didn't want to get into films and make all the wrong moves. But,
now I have decided that since I have taken a plunge into films, I am
going to give it my best shot.
I am very confident about
myself. It didn't make any difference to me that there were two
other females in the film. Besides, why would I feel insecure? It
was explained to us right from the beginning that all our roles were
very different. If there was no point of intersection, then why
would I have to worry?
However, every path has it's own
stumbling blocks. We were bound by a contract and hence, couldn't
sign any other film until 'Mohabbatein' released. Well, that did get
frustrating, at times. And since there was so much curiosity
associated with us due to the fact that we were signed under the
Yash Chopra banner, offers were pouring in. But there's no one to
blame for that. When I signed the contract, I was very well aware of
what I was getting in to.
love all my heroes.
Well, I'd be lying if I say there's
nobody in my life. I have been out on dates sometimes, if I've had
the chance. I've liked someone if he's nice, but if I have to tell
everybody that I'm going around with him. If you go out with a
person a few times, you discover some habit of his that irritates
the hell out of you. I love all my heroes. They're my part time
lovers. I've decided to make a profession out of breaking marriages.
who has the time, anyway? If I find someone cute, by the time I can
spell cute, it's time to go back and work. I've been hanging out and
meeting people. There has to be a common ground between us. That
common ground comes when you have ample of time to go out, party or
even just sit together, which is really not there for people like
I want to be on my guard right now. What if that person
doesn't think about me like that? It'll make me look stupid if he
were to turn around and say that he didn't have any such thing in
this mind. I want to be sure about it before saying anything
When Mark broke off with me, ego was hurt more
than my heart. He had said he could never fall in love with another
woman after me. But the next thing I realize, he's found someone
within five months of our breaking off. I'm really taken aback when
I think was this my only value to him?
Mahima Chaudhary "I
used to have a huge crush on my physics teacher."
will find you when you're lost. I also look for permanency. I should
want to spend my entire life with him. There has to be the
"According to me, the
perfect man-woman relationship happens only when both of them want
similar things. They should want to tread similar paths. A couple
that holds hands stays together."
"I'm not the
impulsive sort. I think 500 times before I do something like let a
man know my feelings." "I used to have a huge crush on my
physics teacher. In fact, all the girls in the class were madly in
love with him. The day he married, we felt terribly cheated. It was
almost as if he had dumped us. When I saw Sylvester Stallone in
Cobra, I went crazy. Then there was a Mel Gibson phase. Now it's
"If I like a guy, I just can't bring
myself to talk to him. I pretend to ignore him completely. I'm rude,
even obnoxious with him."
"Nothing can turn me on
more than a guy who looks at me with love-stacked eyes."
priority will always be my home.
first met at the trial of Jayate. Then during Divali he called up
but I wasn't at home. Since he hadn't left a number, I could not
call him back. He called again after a few days. We were on the
phone for over an hour-and-a-half. We vibed well. From that day we
were on the phone every day, chatting for at least a couple of
In November 1998, I was in Goa for an outdoor for
the Antakshari serial. I missed Ashutosh terribly. When he called at
night, he recited a poem. At the end he asked me what the poem was
all about. Spontaneously, I said, "Love," That was the
first time I told him that I loved him. And he told me he loved me
We do make mistakes and learn from them. There may
have been problems if I'd been in the habit of changing partners at
regular intervals. If that had been the case, I wouldn't have found
the time to know my partners or even myself for that matter. Neither
Ashutosh nor any member of his family has ever made an issue of the
fact that I'd been married before. Our relationship was never a
stepping stone to marriage. In fact, we were really scared that
problems might crop up after marriage.
We wondered how we'd
manage our shootings schedules. We even thought of a ceremony at
Shirdi but Guruji insisted it should be at the Shiva temple in
Bandakpur. He also helped us out with the arrangements. One lakh
people turned up at the temple that day.
We have an
unwritten rule that we won't work on the same project. I'm not too
ambitious. I may not continue acting forever. Ranaji wants me to
turn to direction. But my priority will always be my home. We've
spent time together setting up our new home. And that was more
thrilling than any honeymoon. But yes, I do want to visit Goa with
Ranaji. That's where we first confessed our love for each other.